around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You pole danced in your parka.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
