How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
