I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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