So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
