those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize