don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
