Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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