i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
