Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
