He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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