I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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