Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
