u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
