so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
