either way he was missing a nipple.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize