i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
