If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
