Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
someone owes me an orgasm
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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