nut hugger
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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