I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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