i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
