I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
