How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
