What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
