she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
