I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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