i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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