Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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