am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
