im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
