Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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