How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
