we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
