Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
only you would photoshop your dick
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
