I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
