For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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