The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
