I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize