If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
