I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got her a Nickelback box set.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize