: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
