I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
