I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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