Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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