new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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