its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize