I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
