you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
