I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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