The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
