saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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