YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
