Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
smell my finger.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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