if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
