Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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