oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
