Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
