She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
