Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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