just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
