that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
