is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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