took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
